I feel like I’m going to have such a hard time when I move. I went home the other night and it’s just so comforting. I won’t have that feeling of security anymore. Since I’m always on the go, I mainly keep to myself, and I don’t have a boyfriend… My home is the only sense of comfort I have.
Maybe I will get attacked for telling the truth. but at least it is the truth, we barely hear that now a days.
I thank you for all of it. You changed me, you molded me, you helped me grow, you watched me age, you are the reason I am who I am.
Granted, there have been other people along the way that have been minor stepping stones, but you are the reason for my being.
When I was with you… I thought I was so in love. But I wasn’t. I loved you, I still love you. But I love you as a person, as a human being, and for the things that you’ve done for me and the lessons you’ve taught me.
I’ve never hated someone so much and loved them at the same time.
I’ve never been so infatuated with someone, yet so disgusted.
I’ve never forgotten about someone, but thought about them so much.
You are the reason I speak ill will of love. You are the reason I can’t fall in love. The reason I won’t let myself. You are the reason I don’t trust.
You seem to be the epitome of everything bad in my love life, but at the same time.. You have been such a benefit.
Because of you, I refuse to settle for less.. With anything in life. Because of you, I want to live my single life and explore what the world has waiting for me. Because of you, I never settled down at such a young age and was “trapped,” living a life that I was forced to live and love.
When I miss you, I miss our connection. That’s it. That’s all I want from someone. I don’t want the world on a platter. I just want someone to give me that feeling you did. The unexplainable connection.
The feeling like nothing else mattered. The feeling of security, warmth, and protection. The feeling that I got ten minutes after you left. I want that connection with someone again.
I blame you for my wild and crazy ideas… Because you always made me feel like they were worth something.
I blame you for my insipiration to write… Because the good and the bad always sparked something I wanted to share with the world.
I blame you for my determination to explore.. After all the bad, I wanted to see what good is left in the world.
I blame you for my motivation to keep pushing myself to be the best that I can be in life… Because I was always in competition with every other girl that I had to be the best.
I blame you for guarding my heart wisely and not letting my guard down for anyone.. Because you helped build that wall.
I’m over you. I’ve been over you. This post seems like it’s all about YOU, but it’s not. It has everything to do with me. As a person. The way I feel about life and love. However, you were my base for it all. Without you, this wouldn’t be possible.. And for that, I thank you. Readers’ eyes will pass over this, some will know who I’m referring to, others will wonder… In the end, it doesn’t make a difference who it’s about, because it all ends up with me being who I am and wanting the things I want out of life.
Porn star, Avena Lee, was asked in an interview why Asian women are such a trend and she replied…
“We are very obedient to our men. We cook, we clean. And we age like fine wine.”
- Sister-in-law: You know the neurons and the synapse and shit that all connect? Her neurons from her brain to her mouth don't connect... Cause she don't think before she speak!
Too much doing things for other people. Too much making other people happy. Too much, too much, too much.
I’m either going to crumble or make it out barely standing. Fuck.