I seriously need to get out of here. This state is so depressing. It’s so expensive to live, and not right for the dreams and goals I had set for myself from so long ago. I was planning to at least be renting a place of my own by the time I’m 22. In Hawaii, it’s nearly impossible! People live with their parents till they’re 30 years old because everything is so expensive. And those who don’t, either had help from their parents to pay for their own place, are renting something that a family member of theirs already owns, or is struggling to fit 2-3 people in a studio.
I hate this. I don’t plan on living under someone for the rest of my life. Or even till I’m 25. I want to be out. I want to be doing my own thing. I need to get away and make money.. Then come back. Cause this shit just ain’t happening.
[video]
Finally did it
Green tea & Kona coffee
F u
Anonymous asked: I hope you've been well, miss.
I have… Thank you..
Feeling like this… I don’t know why..
Is it wrong that I don’t want to stay here?
Where there’s still pictures of him and her? Where she was living for so long? Where there’s still little pieces of them lying around the room that I clean?
Or that she used to sleep in the same spot, I’m sleeping in, for so long? Is it wrong that at times, these are the questions that play over and over and over again in my head?
And then it leads me to wonder if he called her “baby,” the same way he does me.. Held her hand, kissed her, and loved her the same way he loved me.. Laid in bed with her just talking about how much he loves her and sees a future with her with the same passion he says it to me?
Am I just being insecure and holding on to something that has clearly been diminished? Or am I right to feel this way about it?
Someone tell me, please. Because I definitely can’t answer the questions for myself..
Why did I have to fall in love with someone who has already been through it? I’ve always wanted to be the first. And I’ll never have that.
My boyfriend was in a relationship with someone for 3 years before me…
Nothing was wrong with her. She did nothing wrong. She was nothing but a quiet, loving girlfriend to him. He just wasn’t emotionally invested with her.
And now that we’ve been together for past 5 months; I thought by now I’d be over the jealous and insecure stage. But I’m not. I still think about if she thinks about him. It drives me crazy.
Also, since they were together for so long, and she was a nice girl… She got a long with the family really well. And I’m not saying that I want it to be a competition between her and me… But it’s weird for me.
Sometimes I wonder if they keep in touch with her. Occasionally I’ll trip over her username on instagram or something and she’s still friends with everyone..
I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be. That’s wrong. Everyone’s grown and can make their own decisions about who they continue to keep ties with..
I guess it just makes me feel more insecure. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t know exactly why it does. And I know it shouldn’t, but it does.
But what exactly can I do, right? I guess just suck it up and hope the feeling passes…